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Writer's picturecory halbert

Cultivating a Healthy Relationship with Money


Imagine your money habits as a garden. If you neglect it, weeds—like impulsive spending and debt—take over. But with the right care and attention, it can blossom into something beautiful: financial freedom. Too often, we approach money with fear or avoidance, letting it control us rather than taking charge. Shifting this dynamic requires a "Millionaire Mindshift"—a term that’s not just catchy but essential for embracing the financial habits of successful people and building wealth.


Take Warren Buffett, for example. With a net worth that defies imagination, you might think he spends his mornings ordering custom diamond-encrusted cereal bowls. Yet Buffett famously still lives in the house he bought in 1958 for $31,500. What makes Buffett extraordinary isn’t his wealth but his relationship with it. He’s mastered the art of delayed gratification, a concept behavioral psychologist Daniel Kahneman highlights in Thinking, Fast and Slow. "The ability to delay gratification is a master skill," Kahneman writes, "and it allows individuals to convert short-term discomfort into long-term success" .


This isn’t just billionaire advice, though—it’s real-life wisdom. My friend Sarah, for instance, was once the queen of impulse shopping. Every paycheck seemed to vanish into the depths of Amazon Prime, leaving her anxiously scrolling Pinterest for “Budget Dinner Ideas.” One day, she realized her spending was more about emotional comfort than actual need. Instead of cutting herself off cold turkey, she adopted smart money habits to build wealth. She started by automating her savings—10% of every paycheck went straight to a high-yield account. Gradually, her money garden grew, and so did her confidence.


The truth is, most of us don’t learn these principles in school. Instead, we stumble through life making expensive mistakes, like buying a brand-new car when a reliable used one would do just fine. (Looking at you, 22-year-old me.) But here’s where books can be lifesavers. In The Total Money Makeover, Dave Ramsey emphasizes, "A budget is telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went". It’s a wake-up call: control your money, or it will control you.


But let’s be honest—budgeting sounds about as fun as watching paint dry. That’s why it’s important to reframe it. Instead of thinking of a budget as restrictive, imagine it as your personal cheat code to freedom. Oprah Winfrey, who’s built an empire on smart financial decisions, once said, "You can have it all. Just not all at once." That’s budgeting in a nutshell: prioritizing what matters most.


So, how do you get started? Begin with small, actionable steps. Track your spending for a week to identify leaks in your financial ship. Commit to saving even $5 a day—it’s less than your favorite latte, and it adds up. By doing this, you’re not just saving money; you’re rewiring your brain to think like the wealthy.


Let’s dig deeper into the heart of cultivating a healthy relationship with money: understanding what drives your financial decisions. For many of us, money is not just numbers in a bank account—it’s emotional. Whether it’s the dopamine rush of an online shopping spree or the anxiety of checking your credit card statement, your emotions often dictate your financial behavior.


This is where mindset comes into play. In her groundbreaking book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Carol S. Dweck emphasizes the importance of a growth mindset, not just in academics or relationships, but also in finance. “Why waste time proving over and over how great you are,” she writes, “when you could be getting better?”. The Millionaire Mindshift is precisely this: transforming from a fixed mindset (“I’m bad with money”) to a growth mindset (“I can learn smart money habits to build wealth”).


Take actor Keanu Reeves, for example. Known as one of Hollywood’s most down-to-earth stars, Reeves reportedly gives away a significant portion of his earnings. Why? Because his mindset about money isn’t tied to ego but to utility. He famously said, “Money doesn’t mean anything to me. I give lots away and live simply”. That’s not to say you should start giving away your paycheck, but rather that reframing your relationship with money—seeing it as a tool, not a status symbol—can lead to greater fulfillment.


Real-Life Money Mindset Shift


Let’s consider a more relatable example: John, a middle-class dad of two, who used to live paycheck to paycheck despite earning a decent salary. His turning point? Discovering Your Money or Your Life by Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez. In this transformative book, Robin asks, “Are you making a living or making a dying?”. This question hit John like a freight train. He realized his spending habits weren’t aligned with his values.


John began tracking every penny he spent and asking himself, “Does this purchase add value to my life?” He discovered he was frittering away $400 a month on unused subscription services, takeout dinners, and impulse buys. By redirecting those funds into a retirement account and an emergency fund, John not only saved money but also felt a newfound sense of control over his finances.


The Art of Automation


One of the financial habits of successful people is automation. As financial guru Ramit Sethi advises in I Will Teach You to Be Rich, “Set it and forget it” is the key to consistent saving and investing. Automated savings removes the temptation to spend first and save later—because, let’s face it, “later” often becomes “never.”


Here’s how it works: Set up your paycheck to automatically transfer a percentage—ideally 10–20%—into savings or investments. Think of it as paying yourself first. As Sethi explains, “Automating your finances is like having a personal assistant for your money”.


Finding Your Balance


Of course, life isn’t all about saving. Part of cultivating a healthy relationship with money is learning to spend mindfully. Even Oprah—yes, the Oprah—emphasizes the importance of balance. “I still splurge, but I save more than I spend,” she’s said in interviews.


Take the Starbucks example: Should you skip your morning latte to save $5? Not necessarily. If that latte brings you genuine joy, it’s worth it. The key is intentionality. Balance your indulgences with investments in your future, whether that’s building an emergency fund, contributing to a retirement account, or saving for a dream vacation.


Now that we’ve explored the foundational steps to improving your relationship with money, it’s time to tackle one of the most overlooked yet powerful strategies: gratitude. Wait—gratitude? Isn’t that more of a self-help buzzword than a financial tool? Think again. Gratitude shifts your focus from what you lack to what you have, creating a mindset that naturally attracts abundance.


Consider the example of Sara Blakely, the billionaire founder of Spanx. Blakely credits much of her success to her mindset. She once shared that she writes down five things she’s grateful for every single day, no matter how small. This practice didn’t just help her appreciate the present; it kept her focused on the opportunities that surrounded her. Gratitude, coupled with smart money habits to build wealth, forms a powerful duo for anyone looking to achieve financial freedom.


Building Long-Term Wealth


Let’s get practical. Cultivating a healthy relationship with money isn’t about cutting every joy out of your life or hoarding your earnings like a dragon guarding its gold. It’s about balance. Start by automating your savings—think of it as giving your future self a raise. Simultaneously, identify one expense you can reduce without sacrificing happiness. Maybe it’s that subscription you forgot existed (goodbye, gym membership you haven’t used since January) or swapping weekly takeout for a home-cooked meal.


As you free up money, channel it into investments that grow over time. A key takeaway from The Intelligent Investor by Benjamin Graham is to think long-term. Graham writes, “The best way to measure your investing success is not by whether you’re beating the market but by whether you’ve put in place a financial plan and a behavioral discipline”. Whether you’re investing in index funds, real estate, or your own business, consistency is the secret sauce.


Embracing Your Money Journey


Here’s a reality check: you won’t always get it right. Even some of the world’s wealthiest people have made colossal mistakes. Remember Elon Musk? Before Tesla and SpaceX made him one of the richest individuals in the world, he poured all his money into risky ventures, risking bankruptcy in the process. His story reminds us that failures are stepping stones, not dead ends.


The key is to approach your money journey with curiosity and resilience. Like a relationship with a partner, your relationship with money will have its ups and downs. But if you nurture it with intention and keep learning, it can become one of the most rewarding aspects of your life.


Action Steps


Ready to take control? Start small. Write down your financial goals, automate your savings, and educate yourself with books like Your Money or Your Life by Robin and Dominguez or I Will Teach You to Be Rich by Sethi. Most importantly, adopt the millionaire mindshift: think of money as a tool to design the life you want, not as an end in itself.

Your financial garden is waiting—start planting today.


References

Blakely, S. (2021). On gratitude and success. Personal Interview.

Graham, B. (2006). The intelligent investor: The definitive book on value investing. Harper Business.

Robin, V., & Dominguez, J. (2008). Your money or your life: Transforming your relationship with money and achieving financial independence. Penguin Books.

Vance, A. (2015). Elon Musk: Tesla, SpaceX, and the quest for a fantastic future. HarperCollins.

Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. Random House.

McNeal, S. (2020). Keanu Reeves: A life of giving. BuzzFeed News.

Sethi, R. (2009). I will teach you to be rich. Workman Publishing Company.

Winfrey, O. (2018). Oprah’s thoughts on balancing saving and spending. O Magazine.

Kahneman, D. (2011). Thinking, fast and slow. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux.

Ramsey, D. (2007). The total money makeover: A proven plan for financial fitness.

Stempel, J. (2021). Warren Buffett says he’s still happy in the same house. Reuters.


Bookshelf

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Ready to take control of your financial future? The Intelligent Investor isn’t just a book—it’s a timeless roadmap to smart, disciplined investing. Hailed as the bible of value investing, Graham’s insights are practical, profound, and proven to withstand the test of time. Whether you’re a beginner or a seasoned investor, this classic offers actionable strategies to minimize risks, master market behavior, and build long-term wealth. Warren Buffett himself calls it "the best book on investing ever written." Don’t just invest—invest intelligently.

Click the cover now and start your journey to financial wisdom!




Transform your relationship with money and reclaim control over your life with Your Money or Your Life. This groundbreaking guide goes beyond budgeting, teaching you how to align your spending with your values, achieve financial independence, and find true fulfillment. Packed with actionable advice and eye-opening insights, it’s a must-read for anyone ready to break free from the paycheck-to-paycheck cycle. As Robin and Dominguez put it, "Are you making a living or making a dying?"

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Dive into the extraordinary life of Elon Musk, the visionary entrepreneur redefining industries and reshaping the future. Ashlee Vance takes you behind the scenes of Musk’s relentless drive, audacious innovations, and game-changing ventures like Tesla and SpaceX. This captivating biography reveals the triumphs, challenges, and genius of a man daring to push humanity to new frontiers. It’s an inspiring tale of risk, resilience, and ambition that will leave you motivated to dream bigger.

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Unlock the power of a growth mindset with Carol S. Dweck’s transformative book, Mindset. Discover how shifting your perspective can help you achieve success in every area of life—from career to relationships and beyond. With real-life examples and practical advice, Dweck reveals how embracing challenges and learning from failure can unleash your true potential. This is the book that will change the way you think about thinking.

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Stop stressing about money and start living a rich life! In I Will Teach You to Be Rich, Ramit Sethi delivers a no-nonsense, step-by-step guide to automating your finances, crushing debt, and growing your wealth—all while enjoying your favorite indulgences guilt-free. Packed with humor, practical advice, and proven strategies, this bestselling book is perfect for anyone ready to master their money and design the life they want.

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Discover the fascinating inner workings of your mind with Thinking, Fast and Slow. Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman takes you on a journey through the two systems that drive your thinking—System 1, intuitive and quick, and System 2, deliberate and analytical. This eye-opening book reveals how these systems shape your decisions, often in surprising ways, and teaches you to think smarter in everyday life. A must-read for anyone curious about the psychology of decision-making.

Click the cover now to unlock the secrets of your mind!



Say goodbye to money stress with The Total Money Makeover! Dave Ramsey’s proven step-by-step plan helps you pay off debt, build savings, and achieve financial freedom—without gimmicks or quick fixes. Packed with real-life success stories and practical tips, this book is your ultimate guide to transforming your finances and living the life you’ve always wanted. No shortcuts, just results.

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Ready to take the next step in your journey to financial empowerment? By becoming a member of Millionaire Mindshift, you’ll gain access to exclusive insights, practical tips, and inspiring stories to help you build the life you’ve always dreamed of. Don’t miss out—subscribe today and be the first to know when new posts go live. Let’s transform your relationship with money, one smart step at a time!

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